Sasstooth – Sarcastic Dachshund Wall Calendar
Fall/Winter event: save 50% on this piece. Bundle & save up to 20% more when you buy 2 or more.
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Ships in 1–3 business days from our North American warehouse in Ohio, then 3–6 days in transit.
90-day returnsPlenty of time to decide.
Free US shippingOn every order.
Designed in the USAMade to last for years.
Real peopleReplies within a few hours.
Questions about fit or fabric? contact@hocking-hale.com
Twelve Months Of Sausage Dog Chaos
Some calendars just tell you the date.
This one has opinions.
Flip to January and the dachshund is already complaining about the weather.
February? He's judging your breakfast.
Every month pairs a new scene with a line straight from the dog's own mouth — dry, a little rude, and exactly what she'd say if she could talk.
Hang it by the fridge and you'll catch yourself reading it out loud.
Twelve scenes, twelve remarks — no month repeats a joke
✓ Twelve Months, Zero Repeats
No repeats, no filler. Twelve original scenes, each paired with a caption that actually lands.
✓ The dog talks back
Every line is written like the dachshund said it herself — sarcastic, dry, and a little too honest.
✓ Still a real calendar
Open-grid layout with room to jot down plans, so the humor never gets in the way of function.
✓ Looks like it belongs there
Straight out of the envelope and onto the wall — no assembly, no extra parts.
✓ Built for a full year on your wall
Sturdy printed pages that hold up month after month without curling or fading.
What you get today
- Sasstooth 12-month wall calendar
- A new illustrated scene and sarcastic caption for every month
- Open-grid layout with room to note the week
- Ready to hang out of the envelope — no assembly
- Free tracked shipping
- 30-day money-back guarantee
Calendars are printed once per year. When the run is gone, it's gone until next season.
Bring Sasstooth to your wall today
Try Sasstooth at home for 30 days. If it doesn't look right on your wall or wear the way you expected, return it for a full refund.
Frequently asked questions
Is the humor actually funny, or is it corny?
Each month pairs a scene with a caption written from the dog's point of view, so you can see the tone for yourself before it ever reaches your wall.
Does it come pre-punched for hanging?
Yes, it's ready to hang straight out of the envelope with no assembly needed.
Is there space to write in appointments or notes?
Yes, the open-grid layout leaves room to jot down plans for each day.
How long does shipping take?
All orders ship free with tracking so you can follow your calendar's progress to your door.
Use Find your size above for a personal recommendation in seconds, or see our Size Guide. Between sizes? Size up for coats and knitwear you plan to layer.
Still unsure? Email contact@hocking-hale.com with your height and weight and we will recommend a size.
Free standard shipping on every US order.
Orders ship within 1–3 business days from our North American warehouse in Obetz, Ohio. Delivery takes 3–6 business days after dispatch. You receive a tracking link by email as soon as your order ships.
90 days to return unworn items with tags attached. Email us to start a return and we reply with instructions, usually within a few hours.
Return shipping is paid by the customer. If an item arrives damaged, defective or is not what you ordered, we send you a prepaid return label to print at home. Read the full policy.
Please check the description above for the exact fabric composition. To keep wool and knitwear at their best, hand wash cold or dry clean, lay flat to dry and store folded. Leather and suede: brush gently and protect from rain with a suitable spray.
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